It was never about the weight

For a long time, I thought my issue was my body.

When I was only slightly overweight, I disliked it. When I later became borderline obese, I disliked it just as much. Different weights. Same dissatisfaction.

That’s when it became obvious that this wasn’t really about weight at all. Something else was going on.

The problem with “it’s all subjective”

Body image advice often talks about numbers, goals or acceptance — but what rarely gets addressed is how subjective all of it is.

I’ve hated my body at sizes that, looking back, were completely fine. And I’ve hated it at sizes that genuinely weren’t healthy. The feeling didn’t change much. Only the justification did.

That’s a problem, because it means the standard is never stable. You can always find a reason to be unhappy. You can always move the goalposts. You can always decide you are not there yet.

When food becomes the yardstick

When eating isn’t grounded in anything bigger, it turns into a way of measuring yourself.

Eating “well” feels like you are doing life properly. Eating “badly” feels like you’ve failed, even if no one else knows. Food stops being food and starts carrying meaning it was never meant to carry. That’s exhausting.

What actually changed for me

When I started eating according to the Sunnah, my body didn’t magically change overnight. What changed first was how I saw myself.

Food stopped being a constant mental negotiation. My body stopped being a project I needed to fix before I could feel okay. Every meal stopped feeling like evidence for or against my worth.

The biggest shift wasn’t physical, it was orientation. I wasn’t eating to control myself anymore. I was eating as part of worship.

Why that feels different

Doing something for the sake of Allah (swt) changes how much pressure it carries.

You are not chasing an outcome. You are not constantly checking whether it’s “working”. You are not tying your peace to how fast things change.

The effort is still there. Restraint still matters. But it is no longer loaded with judgement. That alone is freeing.

Health still matters — just not in the same way

Seeing the body as an amanah doesn’t mean ignoring health or pretending weight doesn’t matter.

It means health is approached with care instead of hostility. You don’t punish an amanah. You don’t shame it. You look after it, even when it’s not where you want it to be. That shift removes a lot of noise.

I’m not suddenly “at peace” with everything

This isn’t a transformation story.

I still notice my body. I still have moments of discomfort. I still want things to improve.

But I’m no longer trapped in that constant loop of self-criticism where nothing is ever enough. And that’s a big change.

What the Sunnah gave me

The Sunnah didn’t fix my body. It fixed the framework I was using to judge myself.

It gave food a purpose again. It gave restraint a reason. And it stopped my body from being the place where I worked out my worth.

Looking back, it’s clear: it was never really about the number on the scale. It was about how I was looking at myself and what I thought my life was for.